An Age-by-Age Guide To Moving With Kids

Moving is a part of life for all of us, and as adults, we’re able to reconcile the reasons in our minds and make the transition.

However, for kids, it could seem like the ‘biggest thing ever’ and can have a range of different effects on their mental wellness and a general feeling of security.

Moving with kids is no small thing, and it takes a nuanced and sensitive approach to make sure that the transition to a new life goes smoothly, and that they can deal with such a change. If you’re facing a move with kids, here are some tips on how to go about it.

What Are The Effects Of Moving House On Child Development?

Moving house does not necessarily have a negative effect on kids, but there are some common impacts that it can have.

• Moving can bring about a sense of loss: of friends, favourite spots, trusted teachers, and routines. If the move happens when the child is young, he or she may go back to a more dependent relationship with their parents. In other words, a move could disrupt the developmental stage where kids go from trusting only their parents, to learning to trust others.
• Moving might also affect a child’s academic growth because every school has a different teacher and curriculum requirements. And, being the new kid in school is never easy, socially.
• Frequent movements often have a negative impact on a child’s feeling of security, consistency, and confidence, all of which are essential components for developing strong self-esteem.

What’s The Worst Age to Move a Child?

Generally, the older your child is, the harder it will be.

As you’ll see below, young children are very adaptable as their worlds are smaller. But once they become of school-age or teenagers, they will have formed friendships and strong attachments to their lives as they know it.

Moving with children of different ages

Kids of different ages will handle moves in different ways. Let’s break it down by age group:

Infants and toddlers

Very young children are quite resilient to moves as their entire worlds are centred around family and the immediate surroundings they live in.

As long as their parents and favourite toys are coming along, they are likely to not be too affected. Here’s how you can make it even easier:

1. Give them attention

Moving is not easy, and you’ll most certainly be busy and preoccupied a lot of the time.

As difficult as it will be, pausing for hugs, a bit of playtime and general positive attention will help your baby or toddler feel comfortable about what’s happening.

2. Talk to them

How much you explain to your young kid depends on how advanced they are, but keeping them in the loop can’t hurt. You can use a stuffed toy to tell them about the new adventure they are going on and how fun it all is.

3. Pack their room last and unpack it first

Creating a safe haven in the new property for your young child is the best way to make them feel secure in a new environment. By sleeping on familiar sheets and being surrounded by familiar toys they are more likely to pass the first night in peace. By packing their bedroom last, you won’t be scrambling to find their things amongst the rest of your cargo.

4. Keep routines

It will be challenging to keep to their regular feeding and sleeping routines, but your moving period will be a lot harder with hungry and tired babies or toddlers. Keep to regular bedtimes, and if possible, naptimes as well.

Preschoolers

If you have preschoolers, you’ll have a little more work to do. When kids are this age, they are more in tune with what’s around them and what’s being said.

1. Keep them informed

Preschoolers will notice if you’re having whispered conversations or are being secretive. Be open with them about the move sooner rather than later. Let them know about the positives that will come with it, and how much fun the process will be. Assure them that all their favourite things will be coming along for the ride, and hint at some fun new possibilities too.

2. Help them visualise

You can build up positive anticipation in their minds if you show them where they are going. This will take the mystery away from it all and will give them something to look forward to. If possible, take them to see the new house and neighbourhood, or if not possible, use Google Maps.

3. Include them in the move

You can empower your kids and give them a sense of control but having them help out with packing their things, getting rid of junk and being part of the move.

4. Make it fun

A universal fact is that kids love boxes, and when there’s a move going on, there’ll be plenty of those. While packing, get some extra boxes to build forts, caves and other fun structures. By making the experience fun, their anxieties can be kept at a minimum.

School-age kids

School-age kids are going to be one of the age groups hit the hardest by a move. They will be leaving their school, friends and everything that they know. Here’s how you can make it easier for them.

1. Let them vent

Odds are that your kids are going to be very angry at you for disrupting their lives – to the point of saying that they hate you. It’s important to not take what they say to heart and to not respond in anger or frustration. Listen to their feelings, empathise and consider how they must be feeling.

2. Help them say goodbye

If you’re moving very far away, it can be healthy to let your kids say goodbye in their own way. One last playdate with a friend, a movie at their favourite cinema or just walking around the neighbourhood. By having closure, they can better process the changes that are happening.

3. Stay in touch with their friends

Your child can communicate more easily with the pals they’re leaving behind thanks to technology. Establish an email address for them to use to send messages and pictures if they don’t already have one. Set up Zoom or video chats, arrange some fun online games to play together and even work towards setting up a visit to see friends again.

4. Preserve stability

Your kids can be reassured that some of the things they love are not gone forever. Set up visits to grandparents, the same summer camps that they used to go to and organise trips for friends to come to visit, or vice versa.

Bonus Tips On Moving With Children

Involve them in the moving process

Children over a certain age love to feel as though they are taking part in grownup activities. While the idea of letting little hands play a role in packing and decluttering may not always seem appealing, it may make them feel more at ease with the situation.

Naturally, this process is stressful for you too. As such, when it comes to the larger packing tasks, consider hiring professional help. In doing so, you can free up time to plan aspects of your new life such as schools, your commute, and childcare.